Calvin & Hobbes: Fairy Tail Mages
by GrizzCat
Summary: I was heading home, when I heard a strange noise. Somewhere halfway between a bump and a crash, followed by a stream of arguing and shouting. And it was coming from an alleyway. What I found were an annoying kid and his tiger. This is their story.


_Extract from the diary of Lucy Heartfilia-_

Well. That was weird. Although that's putting it mildly.

To be honest, it's the oddest thing that's happened to me since I joined Fairy Tail. And, considering the circumstances surrounding _that..._ well. It'd have to be pretty bizarre, right?

But it's probably best to start from the beginning. So here goes...

I was at the bookstore this morning. The owner had told me that there were some new titles coming in that I had ordered (!) so I hurried over as quickly as I could. Sure enough, _Tales of Midsummer_ was there. It cost me an absolute _fortune-_ more than books should cost (I should complain)- but it was worth it. I've been waiting for _ages_ for this. I'm planning to spend some time alone burying myself in it when... well, when this little issue is over.

I was heading home when I heard a strange noise. Somewhere halfway between a bump and a crash, followed by a stream of arguing and shouting. And it was coming from an alleyway.

Naturally, being a brave adventuress and an _exceptional_ magic user, I decided to go investigate.

 _Extract ends._

* * *

"I BLAME THIS ONE ENTIRELY ON YOU!" Calvin yelled, kicking the useless cardboard box into a corner. The lights and levers that had previously decorated it were now blanks and dull.

"How do you figure that one out?!" demanded Hobbes, tail bristling angrily. "As far as I can tell, _you_ were the one who convinced me to go with you! And I did it under duress!"

"That's ridiculous." Calvin tugged a magic marker irritably out of his pocket, and began to scribble on the side of the box in a vain attempt to get it working again.

"You came entirely of your own accord!"

"You _bribed_ me! With _tuna._ Which is really unfair, since you know full well that I can _never_ resist tuna!" He stalked over to the walls of the alleyway, and slid down one to a seated position, tightly crossing his arms over his furry body. "Where are we?"

"No idea," replied Calvin shortly. "Why don't you work on _that_ little problem while I attempt to get us home?"

Hobbes looked up through the crooked buildings, where he could see clear blue skies. "Looks like Earth. Smells different, though."

The lights on the cardboard box briefly flickered into life, before going dull once more. Calvin muttered a word that he really shouldn't have known underneath his breath, and added a power button. "...it 'smells different'?"

"Yup. I'm a tiger, remember? We have a vastly superior sense of smell."

"So… not only this is an alternate universe, but one with different laws maybe?" Calvin said and rubbed his chin. "But the safeguards should…"

Calvin then turned the box and looked inside it. "AHH! There's a stain that smells like tuna over the Emmett circuit!"

Hobbes whistled innocently "So, that's bad?"

"The Emmett circuit is what prevented us to go to an alternate universe where we could get stuck!"

"Relax, soon your mom or dad will call us, and then we'll be back home, like always."

"No, you don't understand! This world is too different, just barely compatible for us to get here, but it'll take a lot of effort to leave!"

Hobbes blinked. "And you got all that from a tuna sandwich stain?"

"AHA! I knew it was your fault!" Calvin said, almost growling.

"My fault? MY FAULT?" Hobbes snapped back, hissing. "It was your idea! I told you that visiting alternate universes was a bad idea, but do you ever listen? No! You bulldoze your way through, or bribe me, or appeal to my instincts! I knew this day would come, a day you would make a mess so big that…"

"Uh, this is a weird coin," Calvin interrupted, picking a coin from the ground and ignoring Hobbes. "I've never one like this, and dad got this huge book about coins that he tried to make me read in order to get me a safe hobby… but there weren't any dinosaur coins. At least there were a few coins with tigers in them. So yes, most likely we are not in Kansas anymore, Toto."

"GRR!" Hobbes tackled Calvin and they rolled over the ground, biting and kicking each other. Hobbes unsheathed his claws, and started scratching at Calvin's face, who, in turn, tried to bite his friend.

"Slimy bag of flea bait!" he screamed.

"Toad-breath!"

" _Toad breath!?_ Who d'ya think you're talking to? I'm the Dictator-For-Life of G.R.O.S.S., and I will not tolerate such nonsense! You're fired!"

"No, I'm not! I quit!"

"Too bad! I'm firing you first!"

They would have probably continued in that vein for quite a while, if it weren't for the timely interruption of a blonde girl who was standing in the alleyway, gaping at them both in absolute disbelief.

"Excuse me," she said, rather politely. "But _is that a tiger?_ "

Calvin and Hobbes froze, and looked at each other in horror.

"She can _see me,_ " hissed Hobbes. "What do we _do?_ "

Calvin considered for a second. "...bluff." He turned to the girl. "You can see no tiger here. We never were here. There is no such thing as a tiger. These are not the droids... er, tigers, that you're looking for."

She looked at him for a moment with a highly sceptical expression. "For some reason, I get the impression that you're lying to me."

"Ah well, I tried." Calvin said and stood up, like the cuts and scrapes he got were nothing. "He is Hobbes and I am Calvin, we're from another universe and we got stuck here."

Hobbes looked at Calvin and sweat dropped. "You're telling her just like that?"

"Different universe with different rules remember? And yes he is a tiger, and yes he can talk, think, write poetry, use opposable thumbs and likes cute girls."

Hobbes then looked at the blonde. "Will you date me?"

She stared at him for a beat. "Uh. For one thing, I only just met you, and for another..." she shrugged helplessly. "...I'm not into _tigers_."

"Ahh, gross! She's too old!" Calvin said, and faked gag reflexes.

"Not for me, in tiger years I'm older than her," the tiger said and winked at the human blonde.

"I don't think you're actually listening to me," she said, but Calvin and Hobbes ignored her, and began to argue.

"I'm just six, I don't need to know about the sheeps and dinosaurs!"

"Isn't it about the flowers and the bees?" Hobbes asked

"Dinosaurs and sheeps are cooler!"

"So you like sheeps now? And you think my tastes are disgusting?"

"Eh… I just think they are fluffy, I don't like them THAT way."

"You still have that sheep plushie under the bed, don't you?"

"It was a gift!"

"Oh yes, a gift from Susie Derkins wasn't it?"

"I am not attracted to slimy girls!"

"Oh, but I didn't said you were attracted to her, did I?"

"SHUT UP!" roared the blonde suddenly, having got extremely fed up with this all of a sudden. "I bump into a annoying kid and a tiger who wants to do nothing but flirt with me, and all you do is _argue?_ I'd have thought that today would be a bit more interesting than this!"

Calvin and Hobbes quickly shut up, miming zipping their lips.

"So, you're some sort of Exceed?" she asked Hobbes, examining him carefully. "You look different to them, somehow. Can you fly?"

Hobbes looked blank. "What's an 'Exceed'? And, no, I don't think I can."

"A flying cat from another dimension," said the girl as if that explained everything. "Which you just said that you were from... so, never mind. You just got here? How?"

Calvin pointed to the cardboard box as if that explained everything. "Dimension Traveling Machine," he elaborated, which helped nothing. "By the way, what's your name? We told you ours after all."

"Lucy Heartfilia," she said. "I'm from the Fairy Tail Guild."

"Uh, what's a guild?" Calvin asked, while Hobbes was busy looking at his paws as if noticing something only he could see.

"A guild is… is your friend drunk?" Lucy said noticing at the tiger staring at his paws.

"I'm not drunk, it's just that… I keep seeing some weird energy around my body." Hobbes said then stared at his tail.

"Did you eat radioactive waste?"

"No, I'm not you."

"That was when I was a giant monster, it doesn't count!"

Lucy groaned. "Do you two always argue like this?"

"Not always, we kind of are in a bad mood because a certain midget got us stuck in another universe." Hobbes said sticking his tongue out to Calvin

"I am at a perfectly normal size for my age!"

"ENOUGH! You two are worse that my team mates!"

"Oh right, you never told us what a guild was." Calvin said while Lucy groaned

"I am never having kids…"

"We'll grow on you," smirked Calvin. "In time."

"Like a fungal infection, maybe," Lucy muttered under her breath, then straightened up. "But are you two seriously telling me that you don't know what a guild is?"

"If we did," Hobbes explained patiently. "we wouldn't be asking."

"Fair enough. But that sounds absolutely _crazy..._ everyone knows what a guild is!"

"Everyone except us," Calvin noted. "Why don't you explain? And possibly get us some food. I'm _starving._ "

Lucy stared at them both again, and something inside her seemed to give in. "Fine. Come with me, I'll find a cafe or something." She began to walk off.

"Wait!" Calvin yelled. "Let me collapse the box." He ran over to the cardboard box and began to poke around in its insides. After a moment, it deflated and collapsed into a smaller version of itself, which Calvin scooped up and tucked into his pocket. "That's sorted. Right, let's go."

Lucy eyed him with interest. "That was actually cool. What kind of magic is that?"

"It's not magic," said Calvin dismissively. "It's science."

The three of them began to walk out of the alleyway together. "I dunno," said Lucy. "That looked a lot like magic to me. What's 'science'?"

Hobbes snorted. "'What's science'? You don't know what-" he paused mid-sentence. "Holy tiger gods. You don't know what science is. And you thought that that was magic."

Lucy looked puzzled. "...well, yeah. Is there something I'm missing here?"

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Hobbes asked Calvin gleefully.

"I have no idea what you're on about," he replied. "But please tell me."

"We've crash landed in a dimension," the tiger said triumphantly. "That has _magic!_ "

* * *

The blonde found herself interested in the boy and tiger's talk, despite most of it being too strange to understand. It was amazing how much math and physics the two knew, even if the tiger kept teasing the boy for having bad grades at school. Until she realized something weird about what the two had said that got her curious.

"Wait! Are you saying that in your own universe Hobbes is just a plush toy?"

"Well… to be honest… we aren't sure. Everyone but me sees him as a plush toy, But if he was just an imaginary friend... then there're things that don't make sense. For example, I should be able to tie myself to a chair despite the fact I never got the hang of that boys scouts knots book."

"So it could be magic!"

"That, or Calvin is insane." Hobbes said while he enjoyed his sundae. It was a testament of how used Calvin was to the insanity comments that he did not react, unlike when he was called a midget.

"And what about the Snowmen demons? That _has_ to be magic!"

Hobbes and Calvin stared to each other. "Nah, too easy," both said at the same time.

"What do you mean, too easy? That level of magic is no joke! Not many people can give life to inanimate objects, even if they've studied magic for decades!"

"In our universe, magic is the word people use to explain things they don't understand," Hobbes said after he finished his sundae.

"Well, in this universe, magic is known and understood to a certain extent. About ten percent of the world population can use magic, and most magic users live in this country, called Fiore."

"And people besides Calvin can see, hear and touch me, as myself, not as a plush toy." Hobbes added.

"Yes."

"I think we should stay for a while," Hobbes decided.

"What? But they have no TV here!" Calvin protested. "Or Chocolate-Frosted Sugar Bombs."

"They have magic, and people can actually see us when we do something weird instead of seeing a six year old playing imaginary games with his stuffed tiger."

"Hmm… no nagging mom, no babysitter, not doing awful things because it builds character… but the danger here is real too."

"Well, that's true, there are many dangers out there." Lucy said. "There are bandits, dark guilds, monsters, demons, and… dragons."

"Say, Lucy, why did you join a guild?" Hobbes asked suddenly.

"I… I wanted to be free. My family used to be rich, and I had all the things I could ever want, save for my freedom. Since… since Mom died… I was just my father's little doll, I wasn't a person for him, just a means to get more power and influence. But… when I joined Fairy Tail, I got real friends and the chance to live my life like I wanted. "

Lucy found herself being hugged by a warm and comfortable tiger, while Calvin did gag reflexes and said it was gross, But she could see that Calvin did that to hide the fact that he almost cried at hearing her story.

Then the hug was over and both the tiger and boy were acting as if nothing had happened.

"Fine, we'll join your guild," Calvin said, crossing his arms, but he was smiling.

Lucy beamed, then frowned. "But... you don't have any sort of magic."

Calvin dug around in his pockets, and produced a water gun. Or at least, that was what it looked like. "Or do I?"

Lucy stared at the gun. "...I don't follow. That looks like a water gun."

Hobbes grimaced. "It _was_ a water gun."

"Do you have a hairclip or something that I can borrow?" Calvin asked. Lucy pulled a bird-shaped clip out of her hair. It was made of a transparent type of plastic. Calvin twirled the water gun expertly, and pulled the trigger. There was a sudden flash of light, and the bird clip raised its head from Lucy's hand, and flapped its wings. It spiraled off into the air, flying high above the streets of Fiore.

Lucy looked at Calvin in astonishment.

"I believe you would call _that_ magic," Calvin grinned. "I call it science. Po-tay-to, po-tah-to."

"And Hobbes?"

"He's my plus one."

"I'm not your plus anything unless you get me a tuna sandwich," Hobbes argued. Calvin rolled his eyes.

"Fine, when I've got some money I'll buy you tuna. Happy?"

Hobbes nodded. "Well then. To Fairy Tail!"

"To Fairy Tail!" Calvin agreed.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:**

Hello there! I'm TheBigCat, and I'm half of the team that put in the effort to begin writing this story. My co-author, Grizzmon, is an amazing person to work with- he's full of ideas, which is always the hardest bit when it comes to these things! It was also his proposal that we begin this thing. I suggested a Fairy Tail/Calvin and Hobbes crossover, and, well, it all went a bit crazy from there! :D

Hi I am Grizzmon! I hope you enjoy this story! Please review!


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